Cheesy "Chicken" Noodle Casserole You Can't Not Love

As a lover of vegetarian comfort food, it was crucial for me to turn the tuna noodle casserole I loved as a kid into a delicious, veggie-friendly dish. For this recipe, I replace the fish with fake chicken, but in the past I've used chickpeas with pretty decent results.

It may be almost summer (not exactly casserole season), but when I get a craving for this, I can't help but indulge it. Good thing it's so tasty (there's cheese and potato chips on top, for god's sake, how could it not be?) because I'll be eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until it's gone!

Cheesy "Chicken" Noodle Casserole

1 bag egg noodles

1 can (10 3/4 oz) condensed cream of mushroom soup

1/3 cup low fat milk

1/2 bag (about 8 oz) frozen peas

1 can (5 oz) sliced water chestnuts (I like to chop them up into even smaller pieces but you can leave them as-is if you want)

1 cup potato chips

1 cup shredded cheese (I used a mix of cheddar and Whole Foods Parmesan blend, but you can use whatever you have around)

4 Quorn Naked Cutlets, defrosted

2 tbs. olive oil 

Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Prepare noodles according to bag directions and set aside. In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat and cook Quorn cutlets until lightly browned. While they are still in the pan, cut the cutlets into bite-sized chunks and season with salt and pepper to taste. Turn off heat and set aside.

In a large casserole dish, add milk, soup, and noodles. Mix to combine thoroughly, then add water chestnuts, peas, and about 1/4 of the cheese. Mix until the ingredients are evenly distributed. Put in the oven and set a timer for 25 minutes.

While the casserole bakes, place potato chips in a plastic baggy and crush them up using whatever heavy object you have laying around. You don't want to pound them into oblivion, but you don't want any big, jagged pieces either.

When 25 minutes are up, sprinkle a layer of shredded cheese on the casserole, followed by the crushed chips, then the rest of the cheese. Continue cooking for an additional 10 minutes or until heated through.

The leftovers will keep for a few days, but I like to sprinkle some more cheese on each portion before heating in the microwave.

The Best and The Worst of Fake Meat

Here's an article I wrote for my mom's blog (target audience: veggie newbz) but it's relevant for mine as well. Enjoy!

As a vegetarian, I don't really miss meat. But I do miss the sauces and toppings that come with it! Marsala, Parmesan, Picatta, Alfredo, Teriyaki, Stroganoff, Curry - these delicious dishes are always associated with meat, but they don't have to be. Tofu is always a great choice, but there are plenty of other meat alternatives with fairly accurate flavors and textures that hold up well during cooking and allow you to recreate your favorite dishes in a way that's better for your body and the planet. Here you'll find my take on some popular vegetarian/vegan brands and products so you can choose the perfect option for your own meatless meals.

Gardein - A fairly new addition to the fake-meat family. As far as nutrition goes, it's one of the healthiest meat substitutes - simple ingredients, low fat, and packed with protein. Plus it's vegan, so if you're looking to go eggless and dairy-free, it's a decent option. The downside is its rubbery texture, which makes it not only less realistic, but less enjoyable. The chewiness would be easy to overlook, but, unfortunately, the flavor also seems little off; honestly, I couldn't get through an entire Santa Fe Good Stuff chik'n cutlet thanks to its odd aftertaste.

Quorn - My absolute favorite as far as taste, texture, and versatility. I've been impressed with every product I've tried, from the Chik'n Nuggets to the Meatless Meatballs to the Turk'y Roast (which renders Tofurky obsolete on my Thanksgiving menu). You can use Quorn Naked Cutlets or Chik'n Tenders in just about any recipe and they hold up about as well as the real thing. I've even fooled meat eaters with their surprisingly realistic Chik'n Nuggets. Quorn products are also soy and gluten-free, for those chefs with those allergies. This may sound too good to be true, but there's a strange controversy behind one of the ingredients. Quorn has come under fire for its deceptive marketing - implying that their products are mushroom-based, when really they are made of "mycoprotein" which is, in simple terms, derived from fermenting some sort of fungus in a big vat. It's easy to understand why their PR department decided to play the mushroom card instead - but it isn't completely honest. As far as anyone knows, mycoprotein is totally safe to eat, and its production has much less of an impact on the environment than meat or even soy. I consume it in large amounts and would encourage others to do the same!

LightLife - With so many products to choose from, LightLife has a meatless substitution for almost any recipe you can dream up. And most of them are super tasty. I'm a huge fan of their Italian Style Smart Sausages, which make a great addition to pasta dishes or even crumbled on top of a pizza. Their Chick'n and Steak Style strips are among LightLife's weaker offerings, as they can break apart and stick to your pan while cooking. Quorn holds up much better in those situations - but LightLife strips are vegan while Quorn contains egg. The Smart Bacon is decent, but lacks the distinct smokey flavor that makes some other fake bacons great. As far as deli meat alternatives, the turkey style is the least accurate and least appealing, while the ham and bologna are great sandwich stuffers. Smart Ground protein crumbles are extremely versatile and a staple in my fridge, great for Bolognese, veggie shepherds pie, or adding to plain old mac and cheese).  And now, the darker side of Light: LightLife itself seems a responsible company, using their website to portray a "green" image, but they are owned by ConAgra Foods, a company with questionable ethics and practices.

Yves - While some health food brands are divisions of larger companies with unfortunate business practices, Yves is owned by Hain-Celestial Canada, a company dealing only in healthy, natural, organic, and specialty products. If you're looking for a more socially and environmentally responsible company, Yves is for you. Plus their fake-meats are tasty - and lots of them are vegan. Most of their products, such as the deli slices and Meatless Ground are comparable to LightLife's, and their veggie dogs are plump and delicious. I like to throw their Meatless Pepperoni slices onto store bought pizzas for an added kick, though they're a bit flimsy and don't taste too realistic. Yves Herb Chicken Skewers suffer from the same rubbery texture as Gardein's, but to a lesser extent.

Tofurky - Perhaps one of the most recognized names in fake meat, their product list extends far beyond their vegetarian Thanksgiving turkey substitutes. In fact, the Tofurky itself is probably this brand's weakest offering. I particularly enjoy their plump Franks and slightly spicy Kielbasa sausages, and I hear the Beer Brats are delicious. Their deli slices are great in sandwiches - as long as you load up on condiments - and they're vegan to boot. Tofurky is owned by Turtle Island Foods, a generally good and responsible company which strives to be environmentally friendly. They use organic ingredients whenever possible and oppose GMO's.

Morningstar Farms - With their frozen Chik'n Patties, burgers, and breakfast "meats" found in most grocery stores across the country, Morningstar is often one of the first brands a newly converted vegetarian reaches for in their quest for satisfying meat substitutes. But despite their fresh, healthy image, Morningstar products are really anything but. Most of their products, while tasty, contain artificial flavors and additives that healthy vegetarians ought to avoid. Though I admit their fake bacon is delicious (it even has imitation white marbling to mimic the look of the real thing), I rarely buy it because it doesn't suit a healthy, all-natural lifestyle. Considering all of the great alternatives listed above, I encourage chefs to avoid Morningstar.

Turn this stupid Wild Mushroom and Black Truffle Flatbread into an awesome pizza.

When I first saw Wild Mushroom and Black Truffle Flatbread in the Trader Joe's freezer section I thought "wow that sounds delicious." But honestly, it was a little underwhelming. Actually a lot underwhelming. It's flavorful, but one-dimensional. It lacks an acidic component necessary to counterbalance the truffles, and there are no toppings (well except for the brown mushroom puree and stingy sprinkling of mozzarella) to make it more substantial. My mom keeps saying "it's a flatbread, it doesn't have the same qualities as a pizza." Well too bad, I want it to be a pizza.

Also, I call it stupid because the cooking time listed on the box is completely wrong. It varies depending on your oven, but I almost need to double what they recommend just to get the crust cooked through. While I'm on the subject, Trader Joe's cooking directions are always wrong and should only be followed if you like eating raw/cold food.

Here are the toppings I add that perfectly compliment the existing truffle flavor. You don't need much of each, since the flatbread is pretty small.

Thinly sliced vine tomatoes or halved cherry tomatoes (this ingredient is crucial, I don't even enjoy the flatbread without this tangy addition)

Thinly sliced white onion

Sliced white mushrooms (white mushrooms are pretty unassuming and won't make the existing wild mushrooms/truffle flavor too strong, they're mainly for texture)

2-4 cloves roasted garlic, sliced*

Handful of arugula leaves

Extra mozzarella cheese, if you want

* You can use roasted garlic from a jar, or make your own. I used Christopher Ranch fresh roasted garlic.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Arrange everything but the garlic and arugula evenly on the frozen flatbread. Set your oven timer for 10 minutes, then check the progress. It probably won't be done, but maybe your oven runs hotter than mine. Let it bake another 4-6 minutes, then add the arugula and roasted garlic on top. Bake an extra minute or two - the arugula will shrivel but don't let it disintegrate.

Here's what the flatbread looks like without any help:

And here's mine:

No contest, right?? 

Oh, and it's supposed to feed a couple people, but I slice it into quarters and eat 3/4 in one sitting. Whatever.

Easiest "Chicken" and Veggie Alfredo Ever

Attention All Fat Kids: It's Time to Get Paid 

Sorry for the recent lack of updates! I just spent a week in Portland, OR eating mostly Taco Bell (don't hate) and Old Country Buffet (they have a lot of veggie stuff, honestly!). and it was awesome. but when I wasn't stuffing my face with bean burritos and mashed potatoes, I was enjoying a dish that I used to make at least 2-3 times a week with my favorite assistant-chef (hey let me give him a shameless plug).

It's insanely easy to make, so if you haven't ever thrown these particular ingredients together yet, you should try it! To make it a little healthier, I use Barilla Plus or Ronzoni Smart Taste,  both of which taste like regular pasta but contain a lot more protein. I promise it's nothing like the whole wheat stuff. You can also add or subtract any veggies you want, but broccoli is crucial! 

Here's what you'll need - it'll make enough to feed two people with big appetites multiple times. 

A little less than a whole box of spaghetti (or whatever pasta you have around - although angel hair doesn't always hold up to thicker sauces)
1 jar of alfredo sauce - preferably Newman's Own Roasted Garlic Alfredo
2-3 fake chicken patties, either breaded or Quorn naked cutlets, it doesn't matter, but I think the latter is best. (You can also use Chik'n Tenders since they're pre-cut into little chunks)
1/2 bag frozen broccoli
About a cup of sliced button or white mushrooms
A few handfuls fresh spinach leaves (rinse these or else they're gonna be disgusting)
1/2 large white onion, sliced
Garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning to taste
A few tbs. of olive oil for sauteing

Start by heating a large pot of salted water over high heat. While you wait for it to boil, you can start on the veggies and chik'n. When you notice the water boiling, add the pasta and cook according to box directions.

Heat about a tbs. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat and add the onions. Saute them for about minute before adding the mushrooms and broccoli and whatever other veggies you want to use (wait on the spinach until the other veggies are nearly done, since it wilts quickly). Let the veggies cook until tender, then turn off the heat and set aside.

At the same time in a different skillet (or if you don't have another pan just wait til the veggies are done and use that one), heat another 1-2 tbs. olive oil over medium-low heat. Add the chik'n and cook for about two minutes - once it starts to soften, use a knife and fork to cut the patties or cutlets into bite-sized chunks. Obviously if you use the chik'n tenders you skip that part. Season the chik'n chunks with as much salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and Italian Seasoning as you like. Don't over-do it, since the Alfredo is pretty garlic-y and salty on its own, but don't be shy with the seasonings either. You're still keeping an eye on the pasta too, I hope. When it's done, drain it and return to the big pot. Add the cooked veggies and chik'n and then dump in the entire jar of Alfredo. Mix well over very low heat, just so the sauce warms up.

No pics of this at the time, but you can probably imagine what it'd look like - a big tasty mess. To truly replicate the way we would eat this, serve with a side of garlic bread and some instant herb mashed potatoes. (How am I not fat as hell??)

Side note: what is with this Quorn re-branding? Are they trying to look like they sell cheap frozen Tex-Mex taquitos?

Vegan (and way better for you) "Philly Cheese Steak"

Though I spent most of my childhood living outside Philadelphia, I can't say I've ever had an actual Philly Cheese Steak. I tried one from my elementary school cafeteria many many years ago and it was so disgusting that even while I still ate meat, I never wanted to eat one again.

What that introduction basically means is, I have no idea if this Vegan "Philly Cheese Steak" tastes anything like the real thing. But it's pretty awesome! And it takes no time at all.

1/2 of a bell pepper, cut into strips
1/4 of a large white onion, sliced
3-4 slices soy or real American cheese*
4 slices  Tofurky Brand "Philly Style" steak slices
1 hoagie roll, sliced in half
1/2 - 1 tbs. olive oil
Mayo or Vegannaise (optional)
Hot sauce to taste (optional)

*I used soy American-style cheese because it melts into a goopy cheez-whiz type texture, but you can use real cheez-whiz if you feel so inclined. That just happens to be an ingredient I'm not a huge fan of.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and toss the roll in there to get it warm.
In a medium pan, heat the olive oil and saute the peppers and onions over medium heat until soft. Lower the heat a bit, then lay the Tofurky slices in the pan (it doesn't matter if things are overlapping, they're all gonna be on top of each other in the sandwich anyway).
Cook the slices for about a minute, making sure they don't stick to the pan or get too browned. Next, lay a cheese slice over each "meat" slice. Cover the pan with a lid to help the cheese melt. When it just starts to melt, use a spatula or some kitchen tongs to transfer everything into the warmed hoagie roll (spread the mayo on first if you're using it). Put the sandwich back into the oven until the bread is crispy and the cheese is fully melted - be careful not to let the bread get TOO toasty. Drizzle on hot sauce just before eating, if you're using it.

This would work great with Light Life Steak-Style Strips, if you prefer those.

aaaand here it is....